EGNightmare

egnightmare @ 2009-12-20T19:41:00

2009-12-21T01:41:27Z

My parents were married for a few months short of twenty years. When I was part way through my senior year of high school, they separated. My first thought was "what took you guys so long?". I had known it was a matter of time for years. Mom and dad started dating in high school, and married when they were 20 and 19. They loved each other, but weren't very well matched. Mom stayed home with the kids as long as we could afford it, and worked as a lunch lady in the school once we needed more money. dad has been into cars his whole life. He could get up at 4:30 AM to get to a swap meet on a Sunday, but trying to get to noon mass on time never seemed to happen. They just really had nothing much in common. It was good growing up in our family. My mom's family loved my dad, and my dad's family loved my mom. Most of my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc lived anywhere from a mile away to maybe a 30 minute drive. Most of them were (in a lot of cases still are) right in South Saint Paul, a first ring suburb of just under 20,000. Love was never in short supply growing up, from our parents or extended family. Mom's side was especially close, getting together regularly at grandma and grandpas for most holidays, the Kaposia Days weekend, guests coming in from out of town, or random nice Saturdays. We grandkids fought over who got to sleep over at our grandparents that weekend. It was a pretty ideal time.

After the divorce, mom and grandma fought for a bit. Grandma is old German Catholic. Get married, stay married, have kids, stay home and raise kids while husband works. Didn't make her happy when my mom and dad split up. Some days my mom was hurt because grandma kept telling her how good she had it and what a mistake she made. Dad kept to his side of the family, mom kept to hers. That was twenty years ago. They both remarried and found much better matches the second time. About six or seven years ago, I forgot my stepmom's birthday. I'm bad with that, always have been. My sister is usually pretty good with remembering, but she just had Ella, her husband was out of town for work, and Sam got sick enough to take him to the ER, so she was more than a little distracted. Dad and Gail invited my sister, brother in law, and myself out to a steak dinner. At the dinner they proceeded to tell us how disappointed they were. I said I was sorry, shrugged it off, and life went on. My sister got in the car and started fuming. The situation between her and her husband and dad and Gail escalated. Shortly after that they stopped speaking. Dad and Gail haven't invited her over for holidays, and she hasn't invited them for holidays, kids birthdays, anything. The offshoot of this is my sister and dad avoiding each other, so family holidays on dad's side meant my sister wasn't there.

My mom still sent Christmas and birthday cards to my dad's brothers and their wives and my cousins. But aside from a couple of funerals, they hadn't really seen each other much in the last twenty years. Last night, my mom invited my dads two brothers and their wives, and one of my cousins and her son, to her house to get together. We got there, and they got to see Sam and Griffin for the first time since they were about 2 and 3, and Ella for the first time. My sister and her kids got to meet my cousins son for the first time. Both Ella and JZ are six. It felt good to get them back in the same room. My mom, Bob, aunts and uncles all had a great time, the kids played a bit, we had snacks. It was nice not being a messenger from my mom to my aunts and uncles or vice versa.

egnightmare @ 2009-12-16T14:13:00

2009-12-16T20:13:03Z

Tomorrow night I'm going to see http://www.actorsmn.org/node/452 Friday night is dinner at mom's with some aunts and uncles from my dad's side. Amy may come with and meet a few of my family members for the first time. She invited me to her sister in law's for New Years Eve. Should be fun times.

In other news, I've decided to stop talking to any pregnant women I know in the Twin Cities. Everything I say somehow gets translated to "you're fat, you're lazy, or you're going to be a terrible mom" Honestly, I got yelled at yesterday for offering to trade cars for a day because I noticed she was past due for an oil change and mentioned I could have it done at my work. (Because I know she's busy and not feeling the best.) The two lj friends I know are pregnant and any others on here who may be pregnant do not have the speaking ban apply because I can't get cuffed from you. Well, that and you seem pretty rational.

egnightmare @ 2009-12-06T03:54:00

2009-12-06T09:54:35Z

Nancy and Katie moved back in town this weekend. I went to their apartment and we all went swimming. We had a good time. Then we put Katie down for a nap. That lasted about thirty minutes before she let out a blood curdling scream. Nancy and I ran in to her room. She was screaming hysterically, so I grabbed her to make sure she was ok. She was fine physically, but she was scared to death. She held on to me and kept screaming. I got her calmed down, kept telling her it was okay, she was with me and I wasn't going to let her go. Nancy tried to take her and she started screaming NO. She wouldn't let go of me and wanted me to hold her. She started falling asleep and looked at me and said "me nap, you hold me! Promise?" At that point all I could do was promise. So I held her while she slept. Nancy was none too happy with her daughter not wanting to come to her after a bad dream, so I was trying to hold Katie with one arm and deal with that fallout at the same time. Katie of course decides to pick this time for a four hour nap. Have you ever had to pee really bad and had to hold a kid? After she woke up, we put her favorite movie in and I raced to the bathroom. I came back and tried to ask her what her bad dream was about, but by then she just crawled back in my arms and smiled.

Tonight's grocery shopping

2009-12-02T03:35:07Z

*reads receipt*
Pretzels
radishes
honeycrisp apples
broccoli
cauliflower
snow pea pods
unsalted sunflower seeds
unsalted soy nuts
carrots

Anyone else see a problem with this?!?!?

From the home office in West St Paul, MN

2009-12-01T17:54:23Z

I give to you the start of a top ten list:

Top Ten things NOT to say to a pregnant woman:

10) What are you eating?

9) Wow, you're really getting big...

8) When my (mom, sister, cousin, friend, etc.) was pregnant...

7)

6)

5)

4)

3)

2)

1) why are you yelling at me? I'm not the one that got you pregnant.

Any of you who are or have been pregnant feel free to fill in the list so I don't have to complete it by finding out AFTER I say them. I might not get to ten if I keep up this pace.

egnightmare @ 2009-11-08T03:51:00

2009-11-08T10:02:15Z

You threw away a chance I'd give anything to have, and you come to me for sympathy? Sorry, denied.

egnightmare @ 2009-10-29T14:17:00

2009-10-29T19:17:47Z

After dinner last night I decided to check out the used book store nearby. I get there and

start browsing. I sit down in a chair and flip through a couple books when I hear "Paul?" I

turn around to see a woman we shall refer to as Lauren, because psychoexgirlfriendfromhell

is too long to type when you type like I do. I say Hello, she walks over. I brace for the

worst, given our history. She walks over with a guy I've never seen before. She introduces

him as her husband. I see no upside to asking what happened to her boyfriend of several

years, so I don't. She looks at my hands and says "I see you're still single, not a big

surprise. I really can't imagine some woman wasting her life with you." I told her I'm old,

trying to insult me really doesn't have the same effect it did when I was in high school.

Then her husband took offense and started blustering about treating his wife with respect. I

told him to calm down, I'm just trying to browse some books, and started to walk away.

Lauren grabbed my shoulder and said we weren't done. I told her we were. Then her husband

got riled up again and started talking about kicking my... I told him nobody wins in a

fight like that. He said he would. I asked them to please just leave me alone. He said I

was acting scared. I said I really didn't have anything to prove, neither did he. She

married him, he won. Lauren said she won the moment she got rid of me. I started walking away again, her husband grabbed my arm and said we weren't finished. I told them I wished them well and pulled myself away. As I was paying for my book, Lauren walked by and said to enjoy them alone, like I always will be.

Success!

2009-10-28T23:00:23Z

Gladiolas and irises located. I loved the silk flower idea and plan to use that in the future, but being as one of her dreams is to own a flower shop and she's having sinus surgery, I figured one of the first things she would smell should be her favorite flowers.

egnightmare @ 2009-10-27T10:08:00

2009-10-27T15:59:19Z

I'm a lot of things, one of them even rhymes with train in the grass. I have a laundry list of pet peeves. Towards the top of the list is my friends being foolish about safety. I shouldn't be finding out after a couple weeks that you barricade yourself in at night because you don't have a functioning door lock. I understand not wanting to bother someone, but your safety is not a bother, it never will be. There is a huge difference between your wallpaper starting to let loose and you not having a locked door in that neighborhood. I know we can get on each others nerves, but this is your safety. You should be able to sleep at night without worrying about noises. I don't care if we drive each other insane, I will always be there to do whatever I can to keep you safe. Please, just let me know if you need help.

stupid florists....

2009-10-26T01:21:44Z

Amy is having some minor surgery the week after next. I took off the day of the procedure and the next day (it's a Thursday/Friday) just in case she needs anything and maybe to keep her company if she goes home. I wanted to get her some gladiolas and irises, but have been told they are not in season by the two local florists. I tried telling them they should carry them year round, but they didn't seem to agree. I'm probably going to call a local greenhouse to see if they have anything available. After that, I'm running out of ideas. Anyone have any suggestions?

egnightmare @ 2009-10-22T23:24:00

2009-10-23T04:35:21Z

Remember the Mel Brooks movie 'History of the World...Part 1'? The scene with Moses coming down the Mountain telling us "“The Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen...” (whereupon he drops one of the tablets, which promptly shatters) “Oy...Ten! Ten Commandments! For all to obey!”

Yeah, I'm pretty sure #11 was "Don't put the moves on your soon to be ex wife's sister"

The people I know... *facepalm*

One more reason I'm glad to be single

2009-10-13T23:09:37Z

I got a call at work today from a friend. He proposed last night and he's on one knee, ring offered up, he looks in her eyes and asks her to marry him, she stands there, shaking her head and tells him "I just don't know, maybe." That is now the fifth guy I know that's gotten a no, a maybe, no answer, or had her walk silently to her car and drive away. I guess I could understand if these were spur of the moment, new love gone overboard situations, but every one of these couples were together for anywhere from two years to over nine years. I can't imagine asking that and hearing a no, or even worse, silence. Kind of hard to have a graceful recovery from that, night is pretty much over at that point.

While I am glad these women were strong enough to not just get married for the sake of being married, a part of me is still confused. None of these were impulsive guys who just up and decided it was a good day to propose. They'd talked about the future, being together, dreams, kids. Some lived together already, others didn't. There had to be opportunities to mention concerns before he took that blind leap and realized his parachute wasn't opening.

egnightmare @ 2009-10-11T02:54:00

2009-10-11T08:13:35Z

Tonight I went out, as usual, to my local hangout. It was pretty slow, the waitress was bored the staff was pretty much there to close. At about 1:50, a few people who had a few too many decided to fight. It ended with the police, paramedics, and everyone trying to figure out what went wrong. Just getting home after trying to diffuse the situation, clean up the bar, and make sure Brooke and Lindsey get to their cars. I talked to the owner for a while tonight. He bought me a shot and a beer.

I drink. No apologies are made, no excuses offered. I find the bar a fascinating place. When I've been away for a few weekends, I've had calls to see how I'm doing. People there called a lot faster than the people at church. They also seemed more concerned. With them, I talk, I joke, I feel accepted. Other places I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

egnightmare @ 2009-09-27T20:32:00

2009-09-28T01:45:11Z

Had my 20 year reunion this weekend. I went to the homecoming game, which we won 49-12. Apparently that is our third win in two years, or our second win in three years, according to other spectators. Went there with two of my good friends from High School. Sat next to my family, mom and Bob, grandmother, aunt, two uncles and a couple cousins. My cousin Emily was in the Homecoming candidates, so she asked Ella to be her page. It was fun seeing both of them on the field at halftime. After that, our class had a gathering at the local bar. Saw quite a few old classmates, had beer, and we all had a good time. Saturday night was the reunion. Got down to the VFW, got to see people I hadn't seen in anywhere from five to twenty years. Nice to see so many could make it. It was a good time. I'm an introvert by nature, even the crowd I hung out with in school, I didn't really hang out with much outside of school. I kept to myself, stayed in my room, went walking by myself, etc. I enjoyed getting to know some of them a little better than I had before. Today I went to a birthday party for Amy and her twin sister Andrea. I got to see Amy and Heather for the first time in a LONG time. It was good to catch up with them. I miss hanging out with Amy, I need to do that more. That said, it's been the busiest weekend I've had in a long time, so I think I am going to go to bed. I'm old now.

egnightmare @ 2009-09-17T21:08:00

2009-09-18T02:10:30Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY nycteris_a

egnightmare @ 2009-09-16T14:22:00

2009-09-16T19:30:17Z

So Nancy called the other night, cooled down some. Katie insisted she call because she had to talk to me. She proceeded to tell me how grandma took her shopping and then she got to have her picture taken. I asked her to send me one, and she said 'promise'. Then she said she loves me.

Then Nancy got on the phone again and informed me she found out why my stupidity sent her into a bigger rage than normal. She's pregnant. I managed not to say any of the dozen plus things in my head that would only have gotten me back in the doghouse. I told her to let me know if I could do anything.

egnightmare @ 2009-09-08T17:39:00

2009-09-08T23:13:15Z

So after I hung up, Nancy called back. I told her I was done arguing. I'd wasted the better part of two days fighting and I was tired. I'm sorry for whatever I did that was so horrible it's made you angry for two days. I promise to never buy anything for either of you again, if we go out it's Dutch, if we call each other, we'll alternate, I don't care anymore, I just want to be done arguing. That's when the tears started, so that means I lost that argument and anything else is pretty much going to start a second argument. So I just sat there listening to her cry over the phone, seemed hanging up wouldn't help. After she stopped crying, she said she was sorry too. I mentioned we seemed to fight more than some married couples I know. She laughed and said "yeah, I couldn't imagine us married" To which I responded "well, at least there'd be make up sex"

wrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongWRONG! thing to say.

Round two of shouting, crying, and hanging up on me. Tried to email her this morning to find out why one comment got her so worked up again, she blocked me.

egnightmare @ 2009-09-08T13:49:00

2009-09-08T18:54:49Z

After my last post, things really blew up.

egnightmare @ 2009-09-06T21:31:00

2009-09-07T03:00:29Z

Yesterday I decided it would be fun to go to the State Fair. Nancy and Katie were in town, so I asked them to go with me. Nancy said she couldn't really afford it. I told her it would be my treat. I figured the bus ride and ticket would be less than $20, add in some food and games, and Katie just turned two, so she would likely be free. Nancy said she wouldn't let me pay, so they weren't going. I tried reasoning with her. She started getting mad and told me "I said No, that's the end of it" She told Katie they weren't going to the fair, and Katie was a little upset to say the least. She had seen the commercials and wanted to go. This made Nancy the bad mom, which in turn made me even worse for making her be the bad mom. I don't understand, but at that point it was pretty much a given that I was going by myself. I went, enjoyed myself, overate to the extreme, and came home.

Today I called Nancy to talk it out. She seemed stunned that I went. "You went by yourself? I can't believe you just went all by yourself. You really just went anyways after the argument?" I told her I was going to have fun, it would have been more fun with them, but if they didn't want to go, I would still have a good time. She seemed a little irritated that I went, then told me people don't go places like that by themselves, it's just not normal. I told her it was for me. She said they couldn't go because she didn't want to owe me anything. I told her I offered to pay, not loan her money. She said "that's not what I mean, guys expect to get paid back one way or another." At that point I realized there was no reasoning with her at this time, so I said "you should know me better than that by now" and ended the call.

egnightmare @ 2009-09-03T11:10:00

2009-09-03T16:10:52Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY tn_sehlat

Just a quick note to say

2009-09-02T00:41:48Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY frogs_n_turtles

egnightmare @ 2009-08-23T19:40:00

2009-08-24T00:50:28Z

I decided to go mini golfing today. It's tougher finding a place to play than it used to be. I did pretty good, 2 hole in ones to somewhat counter a couple very bad holes. It was fun getting out in the nice weather.

Earlier this week I had some flowers sent to a friend at her work. She called to thank me for them and we got together for dinner and to talk a bit. It was a good time. What wasn't so good was the flower shop running the charge four times, leading to two overdrafts.

Last weekend I had lunch with a friend I met online. She was pretty fun, good conversation, great smile, and very down to Earth. The next evening I met some friends for dinner. They brought a friend. This meeting did not go nearly as well.

My 20 year reunion is coming up in a few weeks. I'm old!

egnightmare @ 2009-07-25T17:38:00

2009-07-25T22:46:28Z

I watched my nephews' baseball game Thursday. They did great again. Ella was mostly off playing with her friends, but came and sat by me for a little bit. That's when the following conversation occurred:

"Uncle Paul, are you married?"
"no"
"Let me see your fingers."
*I show her my hands*
"you don't have a ring, you're really not married"
"yep"
"When are you getting married uncle Paul?"
"probably never"
"But then you'll be a kid forEVER!"
"yep, I like being a kid"
"you should get married"
*she then runs off to play on the playground*

egnightmare @ 2009-07-21T23:39:00

2009-07-22T04:44:59Z

I'm getting together with some friends this weekend. One of the things we do is have fun contests. One we're working on this time is 'Pick up lines doomed to fail' My best entry so far is: "You look like you'd know, where's a good place to eat around here? And would you like to join me?" mrbubba seemed to have the best reaction to that when I bounced ideas off her last night.

Any others you could think of that might help me win?

Writer's Block: Not So Genius

2009-07-19T08:22:39Z

Which modern invention do you think the world would be better off without?

View 502 Answers

Cell phones